This morning while waiting for the bus I started to think about Bruce Sterling’s Spime theory and the stink clouds I wrote about earlier. They came to mind as I waited for the bus. There’s an odd yet interesting social dynamic amongst the crowd of people waiting for a bus. We all have a common goal (to get on the bus), and potentially common interests (we likely live in the same neighborhood, we are all likely going to work) yet we the social rules of the bus stop prevent us from interacting with each other.
People waiting for the bus radiate that “don’t bother me with awkward social chit chat” vibe. Sometimes, I feel that way. There are the “don’t bother me” non-verbal cues like the headphones, sunglasses, reading a book. All tell-tale signals that somebody just wants to be left alone. But then again, sometimes I imagine folks would welcome a conversation with somebody new and interesting, so long as they were not too crazy. There are very few cues that indicate if a person is open to conversation or interacting with others in these types of urban experiences. We assume by default that people just want to be left alone.
Which make the bus stop - like so many urban experiences - a profoundly lonely place. Even in a crowd of people, the social rules leave us feeling isolated and alone. Despite the fact that people are social and need interactions with other human beings, we’re slowly removing opportunities for engagement from our lives.
Which got me thinking about metaphors that could indicate when people were open to social interaction or closed to it. Or if there were ways that people could share information about themselves, but in a way that didn’t necessarily have the social rules and obligations of conversation.
What if mobile phones could indicate this openness by casting a data umbrella around a person? Similar to a the data stink cloud, users could control the information they wanted to share — or simply indicate they were open to conversation or social interactions. They could open up opportunities for social interactions - helping people feel less isolated and alone.
I love this idea. I’ve long thought of our ambient online behavior (the tweets, avatars, IM status messages, currently listening tos, etc) as a form of clothing and this makes that wonderfully literal, focusing the diffuse cloud of behaviors and bringing it all back into meatspace where it belongs.
Forgive the long comment.
Perhaps it is the place I am from, but it is very obvious if someone wants to talk to you to your face. I was raised to say hi to everyone if I feel like it. Also to recognize that some people do not want to talk. All it takes is a smile to ask someone if they want to talk; all it takes to get out of the conversation is applied use of tools we all have (cell phone most obvious). This hurts none and takes under 15 seconds.
I think that looking at this as an umbrella is a horrible idea. As stated above, it is easy for someone to show everyone else that they do not want to be spoken to. If we protect ourselves from the most basic human interactions, we will lose that part of us that wants to interact with strangers. Eventually, we will only do it if we are in the exact right mood, and loose out on what actually makes interesting conversation.
If anyone thinks we have to speak to let anyone know our feelings (at least the most basic ones), they are mistaken. Our faces, bodies and voices are experts at getting these abstracts across.
If we wish to make people feel less isolated and alone, let us smile at them at the bus stop, then start a conversation on the bus. If they don’t want our company, it will quickly be obvious.
Maybe these social rules are standard and I am violating them when I simply give a smile and a bit of chit-chat, but I believe that there are many signs given if someone does not want to talk, and anyone who cannot read them has the basic sensitivity of an umbrella.
There are places to use these tools an places not to. Let’s not deprive ourselves of real life conversation just because we are afraid those around us may not want it.
They will let you know!